Protection and Victory through Strong Faith and Practice
By Maxine Stewart
Women’s Area Leader
Winnipeg
I was born in England, and at the age of eight our family of six emigrated to Canada. Within the first year of our arrival, my mother, younger sister and a family friend all lost their lives when a drunk driver failed to stop for a crosswalk.
My mother had been the strength of our family. My father, left with three children to raise, was understandably devastated. I was only nine years old; but as the eldest girl, I naturally took over my mother’s role, attempting to raise my siblings while consoling my father. His expectations were very high, and I constantly felt that I failed to live up to them. There was no physical affection in our family, and I craved the love that I had lost when my mother passed away.
We were enrolled in a Catholic school, and I was instructed in that belief system. It was my first exposure to any kind of religious practice, and I was an avid student. However, by the time I was 14, I began to question many aspects of the doctrine. I began to read widely and avidly, seeking a deeper understanding to fill the spiritual void in my life.
My father remarried and fathered a new child almost every year, adding to my responsibilities. I cared for the babies, while my stepmother worked to feed the family. My father’s grief never really enabled him to support his family, and so we moved from one small town in Ontario to another at least two or three times a year, always staying one step ahead of the bill collectors. I worked part-time in the evenings and cared for babies during the day, having been removed from school to support our family. By the time I was 15, I left home for good and became distanced from my family.
I moved to Vancouver, then Edmonton, and then back to North Vancouver, for various jobs. I never continued with my schooling but was fortunate to always be employed, and I was able to better myself, one job at a time.
In my personal life, I constantly sought the love and affection I craved as I drifted from one relationship to another, sabotaging each one, never trusting that my life was worthy of love and respect. I suffered deeply from manic depression, which I later realized ran in my family. At the lowest point in my life, while a single parent of a nine-year-old child, I came close to a nervous breakdown. Only my deep love and sense of responsibility for my child prevented me from completely going over the edge.
I accepted a job offer in Winnipeg, my least favourite city to live in. And yet it was here where I met the Gohonzon.[1] It would be another five years before I finally made the decision to explore this faith. During a depressive episode when I considered ending my life, I concluded that I had nothing left to lose by trying to practise chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Later I learned that my sponsor had never stopped chanting for my happiness. I approached this practice with my usual determination, and I began to do gongyo[2] and chant daimoku[3] twice a day without missing. Soon, something in my perception began to shift.
I was in a sales job travelling across the prairies, and I had time to chant and contemplate this incredible philosophy, which held no contradiction to my own beliefs. I felt confident that through this practice, I would find meaning in my perpetually unhappy life. For the first time, I experienced stability, living in one place and holding one long-term job. My Buddhist practice was teaching me not to run in search of my future, but to develop deep roots where I dwelt and to take control of my destiny. I finally stopped running from myself.
As the years passed, I learned that everything has meaning and can be transformed into something of value. I continued to reflect deeply in times of suffering, which has continued throughout my life. Still, instinctively I knew I was finally on the right path to finding meaning in life. Ikeda Sensei[4] describes the strength and resolve that emerged in my life as I carried out my practice:
Faith is the source of limitless hope and vitality. With a strong inner resolve and positive outlook, we can transform any environment into the most magnificent treasure land. This is what Buddhism teaches.[5]
In the following years, I was asked to take on leadership responsibility within the SGI Canada organization in Winnipeg. Speaking at meetings or challenging myself to be the emcee was terrifying, and eventually I took classes at a local public speaking club to develop confidence. This effort to develop my skills contributed to my SGI activities and also provided me with the confidence I needed to expand in my job.
I remember asking SGI Canada’s first leader Elizabeth Izumi[6] why I was appointed as a women’s leader. She replied, “Because you have so much life experience and will be able to understand other women’s suffering.” Both Mrs. Izumi and her husband Hugh expressed great confidence in my potential, and for the first time in my life, I felt valued. I vowed to never be defeated, and to always turn poison into medicine.
In the summer of 2018, I finally retired from my long-term job in Winnipeg. Later that year, I suffered from a severe case of the flu, and I was taken to Emergency. After a long wait with no fluids, I was finally treated with fluids just before being sent home. I visited my family doctor that week, and when the report from the hospital showed severe dehydration, he sent me for a CT scan to be sure my kidneys weren’t damaged.
The scan revealed a dark image in front of my pancreas, and further testing resulted in the diagnosis of a malignant tumour. Fortunately, the dehydration caused by my extreme flu had set in motion the process for this neuroendocrine cancer to be discovered in time to be treated. This was a perfect example of the Buddhist principle of changing poison into medicine.
I realized that my life experience and my 38 years of sincere Buddhist practice had culminated in this life-and-death challenge. Every victory up until this time had brought me to this crucial moment.
Buddhism does not teach that we can avoid experiencing the four sufferings of birth, aging, sickness and death; rather, it teaches us how to use them to transform our karma[7] and become happy. These words from Ikeda Sensei encouraged me deeply:
The fact that you suffer from a serious illness means that you have a profound mission. The deeper your suffering, the more you can demonstrate the tremendous power of Buddhism when you surmount that suffering and the more you can contribute to kosen-rufu. In order to do that, you have created various kinds of karma, taken on this illness and appeared in this world as a Bodhisattva of the Earth. You cannot fail to overcome this![8]
I chanted for the best surgeon and the best outcome for my life, as my treatment moved ahead quickly. I was scheduled for a surgery that was known to have a low rate of survival or a recovery involving a reduced quality of life. Fortunately, I was assigned a surgeon I later learned was one of the best in his field.
On November 19, 2018, during the month when we commemorate the founding of the Soka Gakkai in our district general meetings, I underwent the surgery. This resulted in the removal of 25 per cent of my stomach and 35 per cent of my pancreas, along with parts of my digestive and lymphatic systems. I was given an epidural for pain because I don’t take narcotic drugs, but the tube fell out the day following the surgery, leaving me with no pain management other than regular Tylenol during my hospital stay and home recovery. But amazingly, I didn’t suffer any severe pain.
I especially appreciate the sincere support of my fellow SGI members. I believe the profound connection that we possess as practitioners of the Mystic Law[9] permeates time and space. United together in prayer, we were able to have a profound impact on the result of my surgery and recovery. As I share this, I have been free of cancer for five years.
I have learned that all my sincere efforts for kosen-rufu[10] over the years led to the peace that I experienced leading up to and following my cancer surgery. I know that my mission for kosen-rufu in this life is not over. Every day is precious.
When I was first diagnosed, I was unsure if I would be here to celebrate 2030, the 100th anniversary of the Soka Gakkai’s founding. I am now focused on how much more value I can create leading up to this great milestone. I am determined that my contributions will live beyond me and into the future, through my commitment to participate in raising the next generation of successors, and connecting them to our eternal mentors, Tsunesaburo Makiguchi, Josei Toda and Daisaku Ikeda, the founding presidents of the Soka Gakkai.
Published in May 2024 New Century
[1] Gohonzon: The object of devotion in Nichiren Buddhism. It is the embodiment of the Law of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, expressing the life state of Buddhahood, which all living beings inherently possess. Go means “worthy of honour” and honzon means “object of fundamental respect.”
[2] Gongyo: Literally, to “exert [oneself in] practice.” Generally speaking, gongyo refers to the practice of reciting Buddhist sutras in front of an object of devotion. In Nichiren's (1222-1282) teaching, gongyo means to chant the daimoku of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and recite portions of the “Expedient Means” (second) chapter and the “Life Span” (sixteenth) chapter of the Lotus Sutra with faith in the object of devotion called the Gohonzon.
[3] Daimoku: Chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo in Nichiren Daishonin’s teachings.
[4] Ikeda Sensei: SGI practitioners often refer to SGI President Daisaku Ikeda as their life mentor or teacher. The word sensei is a Japanese term for teacher.
[5] Daisaku Ikeda, The New Human Revolution, (Santa Monica, World Tribune Press, 1998) Vol. 6, p. 31.
[6] Mrs. Elizabeth Akiko Izumi (1936-2021) was the first chairperson for SGI Canada. She met SGI President Daisaku Ikeda in October 1960 during this first visit to Canada. Although not a Soka Gakkai member at the time, she was encouraged by the warm guidance Daisaku Ikeda gave her. Nineteen months later, due to her health struggles, she started to practise Nichiren Buddhism, and so began her journey to introduce Nichiren Buddhism to people in Canada. Her efforts are described in Volumes 1 and 30 of The New Human Revolution.
[7] Karma: The accumulation of causes and effects, lying deep within our lives, which exerts an often-unseen influence over our future.
[8] Daisaku Ikeda, The New Human Revolution, (Santa Monica, World Tribune Press, 2004) Vol. 10, p. 251.
[9] Mystic Law: The ultimate law, principle, or truth of life and the universe, in Nichiren’s teachings; the Law of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.
[10] Kosen-rufu: Literally, it means “to widely declare and spread [the Lotus Sutra]”; to secure lasting peace and happiness for all humankind through the propagation of Nichiren Buddhism. More broadly, kosen-rufu refers to the process of establishing the humanistic ideals of Nichiren Buddhism in society.