From a Life of Self Destruction to a Life of Value Creation
Jack with his wife, Denise
By Jack Stewart Flint
Men's District Leader
Lion’s Head, Ontario
When I was 11 years old growing up in Ontario, my parents joined a religious group—one that was very strict. Over the next five years, as I was developing my own individuality, I decided that if I wanted any sense of freedom of thought, home was just not that place. I had a very hard time following the rules. “You can't do this; you can't do that.” It was all “can't! can't! can't!... don't! don't! don't!”
When I was finally thrown out of the house at 16, I started smoking cigarettes, soon followed by marijuana, and everything in my life was “can! can! can!...do! do! do!” My life soon began to spin out of control—and it did so for a very long time.
For the next 22 years, I did a long list of many hard drugs—from shooting up methamphetamines, to taking acid for days on end, as well as getting addicted to oxycontin and cocaine. Amazingly, I was able to keep working and hold down jobs through all this self-abuse. The drive was a simple one—if you have no money, you have no drugs!
Adding to this, my first marriage was very volatile because of the amount of hard liquor we consumed on weekends. Each weekend was filled with our arguments and screaming at each other. It often felt like madness! The best thing to come out of this relationship was my beautiful daughter Rachel, who now has two wonderful daughters herself and a two-year-old grandson.
By 1974, I decided to move from Ontario to Vancouver as an escape route from my marriage. I was smoking three and a half packs of cigarettes a day in combination with all the other junk I was pumping into my body. At the rate I was going, I thought I would be dead by 30 anyway. It was then, at age 31, that I was introduced to Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism. I felt like I had just made it under the wire. On December 12, 1982, I proudly received my Gohonzon.[1]
In Nichiren’s writing “On Prolonging One’s Life Span,” he states:
There are two types of illness: minor and serious. Early treatment by a skilled physician can cure even serious illnesses, not to mention minor ones. Karma also may be divided into two categories: fixed and unfixed. Sincere repentance will eradicate even fixed karma, to say nothing of unfixed.[2]
The smoking and drug problems could be considered fixed karma because I struggled with them for decades. However, throughout all that time, I still possessed a strong spiritual seeking mind. Over the years, I had studied many other religious faiths, both Western and Eastern. I also studied psychology and read voraciously. The various practices that I tried all promised to assist me with my problems and provide me with happiness, but all to no avail.
Nichiren Daishonin states,
"[The Lotus Sutra is] like a great physician who can change poison into medicine."[3]
I definitely saw genuine proof of turning poison into medicine in my practice when I came across a hypnotist who was giving seminars about quitting smoking, with a money-back guarantee to boot! My buddy and I were laughing at what we were going to do with the money from the guarantee, because obviously, we never thought it would actually work. Oddly enough, I went from smoking three and a half packs of cigarettes a day to none the next day, and without the usual symptoms of the fidgeting of the hands, the tactile phase, the need to eat, etc. It was like a switch was flicked in my brain, and my life began to change course. It also came at the right time because my lungs physically hurt from so much smoking. That was on March 8, 1992. I was truly impressed! Then, a month later, April 8, 1992, I decided to stop smoking marijuana. After all, I'd smoked enough for about three lifetimes.
Nichiren continues: "When I prayed for my mother, not only was her illness cured, but her life was prolonged by four years. Now you too have fallen ill, and...it is all the more timely for you to establish steadfast faith in the Lotus Sutra and to see what it will do for you."[4]
The challenge "to see what it will do for me'' was one I couldn't resist, so I threw myself into SGI activities. I assisted members who were coming to meetings in the freezing cold, making sure there were no accidents and that they were safe and comfortable. Once a month, I looked after the culture centre in the evenings as a member of the volunteer group that supports SGI activities at our centres. I also studied The Human Revolution[5] and Nichiren Daishonin's writings. I went to study meetings meant for leaders before I even had a leadership responsibility myself. Even my Saturdays began with an early 8:00 a.m. chanting session with the youth members, and I introduced others to this practice in a natural way.
In the year 1990, my older brother Cecil died of AIDS. Although I loved my brother, upon learning of the initial diagnosis, I was worried that taking care of him would be a burden. But when his condition worsened, the feeling that emerged from my heart was quite different. I had a deep compassion and love for him. Inside, I felt, What can I do to help him from suffering so much? What could I do to help alleviate just some of his pain? It was a truly terrifying experience to see a strong, intelligent, and brilliant young man of 39 being whittled down to merely skin and bones. I realized that life is truly precious, and it goes just like a wisp of smoke. Once again, through chanting, I was changing poison into medicine, and this time, I stopped doing cocaine—a habit that had cost me $300 a week. I still feel deep gratitude that I could turn my life around so much.
After Cecil died, I went through some intense grief therapy. They wanted us to do a brief autobiography about our home life in our youth. That wasn't difficult, but I realized that it really had no meaning unless I could let my father know how I felt when I was growing up under his strict religious beliefs. I decided to send it to him. Some days later, I received a phone call from my father. He said that I was no longer his son, and that I should never call him again.
I spoke to one of my seniors in faith in Vancouver, and he encouraged me to just keep chanting for things to change. However, my father was 3,000 miles away, and I had serious doubts that chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo[6] could fix this situation. In the end, the only thing I could do was to put the guidance I had received to the test.
I chanted for six months, and then, out of the blue, my father phoned me. It was at that point that I realized that chanting is not bound by time or distance; the power of chanting is universal. That was the beginning of a much healthier and normal relationship with my father. When I moved from Vancouver back to Ontario in 1996, I was able to see that we held a deep respect for each other.
When my father was close to death in 2007, my second wife, Denise, and I held his left and right hands respectively. We were chanting quietly, and I was watching his breathing—an in-breath, and exhale; an in-breath, and exhale. He was in so much peace. It was truly amazing to watch.
I believe that I found the practice of chanting of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo just in time. I also believe that it has prolonged my lifespan by 40 years. I turned 71 in August 2022—in the 40th year of my practice.
Ikeda Sensei says:
Kosen-rufu is a great undertaking of unprecedented scale, an arduous effort to blaze a trail through uncharted territory. To accomplish that, everyone has to be self-motivated and proactive in their faith, taking personal initiative instead of relying on others to do the work. There is tremendous joy in activities when we each set our own goals and work self-reliantly to achieve them.[7]
Moving forward, my determination is to further strengthen my faith, as well as to pursue my goals as a singer/songwriter. I will establish a website this year to generate income from my music, and I will continue writing songs with the spirit of Soka!
Jack’s poem dedicated to his brother
The last moment
‘tis only in dreams,
and flashes of memories.
opaque as the translucent mist,
as it wisps into nothingness/
the sinews of vagueness…, rippled…,
shredded.
the last moment of the eye.
could it be stretched?
should have been,
wishing it lingered…, lasted twice as long.
not knowing, only in time now past,
that that, would be
the last moment.
Published in August 2023 New Century
[1] Gohonzon: The object of devotion in Nichiren Buddhism. It is the embodiment of the Law of Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, expressing the life state of Buddhahood, which all people inherently possess. Go means “worthy of honour” and honzon means “object of fundamental respect.”
[2] “On Prolonging One’s Life Span,” WND-1,954.
[3] “The Daimoku of the Lotus Sutra,” WND-1,146.
[4] “On Prolonging One’s Life Span,” WND-1,955.
[5] A novel written by SGI President Daisaku Ikeda is historical novel in six volumes which portrays the development of the Soka Gakkai in Japan.
[6] Nam-myoho-renge-kyo: The fundamental Law of the universe expounded in Nichiren Buddhism, it expresses the true aspect of life. Chanting it allows people to directly tap their enlightened nature and is the primary practice of SGI members.
[7] The New Human Revolution, Volume 30, p. 176.